In the depth of our being God wired us to seek and desire relationships. God put a hole in the inside of each heart that could only be filled with a personal relationship with Him! Just think, the Creator of the universe wants to be in relationship with mankind – each person uniquely fashioned in His image!
God also designed us to seek relationships with other people whether it is with friends, coworkers, family members, dating relationships, marriage or members of the body of Christ. We need companionship, love and acceptance. We need encouragement, to be heard, to grieve with one another, to be believed in, and we need to be there for others as well! The bottom line is, God never intended for us to be lone rangers and isolate ourselves from the rest of the world. God wants us to tangibly experience His amazing love and express it to those in our lives and with a world starving for His love!
Yet, from the beginning of time Satan has tried to destroy our relationship with God and with people. Satan is the Father of Lies and goes around trying to deceive people. The Bible says, “The thief’s (Satan’s) purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life” (John 10:10 NLT). Satan wants nothing more than to destroy us and keep us from experiencing satisfying relationships! His goal is to ruin the relationships we already have and any satisfying one in the future. God has taught me several key points over the years that will help you enjoy your current relationships more and/or heal damaged ones!
One – Fulfillment in life comes from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, not in a friend, spouse, church group or any other relationship that tries to take the place of God.
Many times we try and find our hope, confidence and security in a relationship with a person instead of God. It is easier to talk with someone face to face rather than go to God who is invisible. The Bible says, “And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him” (Hebrews 11:6 NLT). We are to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength and to place no other gods before Him. A false god is anything that has our attention more than God and consumes our time and energy in an out of balance way. God wants to be on the throne of our lives and when we place Him first, everything else begins to make sense. The woman at the well found this out the hard way. Jesus came to a town and sat at the town well because he was tired from walking. A Samaritan woman came up to the well to draw water and Jesus began talking with her. “Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.” “But sir, you don’t have a rope or a bucket,” she said, “and this well is very deep. Where would you get this living water? And besides, do you think you’re greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us this well? How can you offer better water than he and his sons and his animals enjoyed?” Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” “Please, sir,” the woman said, “give me this water! Then I’ll never be thirsty again, and I won’t have to come here to get water.” “Go and get your husband,” Jesus told her. “I don’t have a husband,” the woman replied. Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband—for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now. You certainly spoke the truth!” Jesus started out asking her for a drink of water and then told her that if she knew who He was, she would have asked Him for Living Water! At that point she didn’t understand what He was saying, so she told Jesus, “How could you possibly offer me better water than my ancestor Jacob?” Jesus went on to say that if she would drink this Living Water, she would never thirst again. The woman was excited by Jesus’ statement, so she asked if she could have this water so she didn’t have to be thirsty again. Jesus responded by asking, “Where is your husband?” She explained that she didn’t have a husband. Jesus, knowing her heart said, “You are right, because you had five husbands and now you are with another man!”
This woman was looking to men to satisfy her. She had been trying to find fulfillment, but was looking in all the wrong places. Jesus explained that what she was really looking for was a relationship with the living God! Every time this Samaritan woman didn’t like something in a husband, she left him for someone else that could give her a fix for a time. I wonder how many times she thought to herself, “What is wrong with these men?” Jesus wanted her to realize if she would turn to Him, she would not need to keep searching…she would not be thirsty anymore! Everything she hoped to find in a man actually would be found in a personal relationship with Christ!
This is a powerful truth for each of us. When we place God at the center of our lives, we will have peace and true fulfillment! He will teach us what we need and don’t need. He will reveal to us how we should treat the people we are in relationship with and how to respond to conflict in ways that are pleasing to Him!
There was a season in my life where relationships with people and my career were more important than God was to me. I was so frustrated. I was always trying to find something that could fulfill me, but it would never satisfy…I was constantly thirsty for more! In the midst of my frustration, I went through this huge questioning time and almost gave up on life! I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to. I cried out to God like I had never done before and in my turmoil, I discovered that God is real and He wants to be first place in my life. One day I was praying and I heard the Holy Spirit speak in the depth of my heart, “Cory, you have finally given me the throne of your life.” In other words, I let him have access to every area of my heart and I was willing to be led by Him! He was in control of my life for the first time! I had real peace and I knew that Jesus Christ was the reason to live! God actually had a plan for me and it was exciting!
The most important key to having successful relationships is to place God at the center of your life. He is the foundation that makes everything else work correctly. When the foundation is right, a person can weather any difficulty in any relationship! Will you let God be the center of your life? This could be the key ingredient you are missing as to why your past relationships haven’t been working! The woman at the well learned an important truth that changed her life forever. Will you learn from her story?
