Have you ever felt like your boundaries were being crossed? Sure, most of us have a time or two or even on a consistent basis. Maybe you were or are currently in a dating relationship and the other person wants to take the relationship to the next level physically, but you know in your heart this is not right. You tell the person “No”, but they push past your boundary and take advantage of your decision. Or maybe your family or friends really want you to go on a trip with them, but you know you can’t afford it. God has put it in your heart to exhibit financial self-control and say, “no…not this time.” However, your family won’t give up easily. They reply back, “You never do anything with us anymore. Come on…go on this trip!” Eventually, under the pressure, you give in to their request despite knowing in your heart you disobeyed what God asked you to do. These scenarios happen all the time.

It not only happens in your everyday life, but it happens in church too. I served faithfully at a church for a number of months and eventually was promoted to a key position. It was not a paid position, but none the less, was a very important role in the life of the church. I worked very hard and believed God was in what I was doing. Over time, however, my responsibilities grew so large that I started to get out of balance in my relationship with God, people, free time and eventually neglected other areas outside of church that God was asking me to do. Church functions consumed me. I had reports to fill out, a small group to lead, church staff meetings to attend, volunteers to oversee and on and on it went. Eventually, I had no free time for anything.  And when I did manage to squeeze some in, I would get a call or email from staff that I needed to be somewhere, do some errand or oversee some function. My life got severely out of control and out of balance.

I had a hard time saying “No.” After all, what would happen if I let them down, or if they got mad at me or if I couldn’t do what they asked me to do? Would they give my position or role to someone else? After all, this was a stepping stone to my destiny…right?

During this time, I did a lot of soul searching and was desperately asking God what He wanted me to do. I finally came to a place where I didn’t care about a position anymore! I didn’t care about letting the people I rubbed shoulders with down! I didn’t care if I lost everything at this church. I wanted to please God and not “Man” any longer. I eventually went and told the pastor that I was out of balance and needed to let go of some of my responsibilities. I also explained that I believed God was leading me to step out to pursue the ministry He placed in my heart.” At first, the pastor told me to buckle down and tighten my margins. I told him that I didn’t have margins and that was why I came to him. He agreed to lighten some of my load, but after more prayer, I believe God was telling me “No. I want you to pursue what I placed in your heart and you can’t accomplish it and keep your current role at this church. I have a different vision for your life.” Against the pastor’s wishes, I moved on in the direction I believed God asked me to go. Shortly after leaving this church, I began attending a new one that believed in the direction God was taking me. I started writing a blog, and within two months I received an email from the editor-in-chief of a Christian newspaper company. She explained that she had been reading my blog and thought I had some good things to say and wanted me to start writing for the newspaper she worked for. She loved my first article and asked me to write two articles a month, then three. Then she asked me to write a cover story and then a second. God gave me favor and blessed me with a greater level of influence – a reading audience of 250,000 people plus an internet audience.

When we choose to draw boundaries around our lives that God asks us to, He will bless us and cause us to succeed at the dreams in our hearts. But if we live to please people, we will never be pleasing to God!! As Christians, we have a blood bought given right to hear from God and be led by Him. The Bible says, “For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God” (Romans 8:14 AMP).

We, as children of God, need to come to a place where we are led by God no matter what others are telling us to do. God does use Pastors and Spiritual Leaders to shepherd His people, but not control them or keep them from being led by God! Spiritual Leaders should teach God’s people to fish, not fish for them. In other words, they need to teach God’s people to hear from Him, not make every decision in their lives for them. Be careful of people who want to make every decision in your life for you. Don’t give them the liberty to do so either – that position is reserved for God and Him only!

God is the fulfiller of your dreams not a Pastor, coworker, family member or boss. If you are at a church that can’t respect your boundaries then move to one that does respect them. Maybe you once were graced with the ability to serve a lot, but God is moving you into a new season and the grace is no longer on you to serve in the capacity you once did because you now have a family and need to spend quality time with them. Dropping the ball at home to fulfill church responsibilities is not godly living! Jesus got mad at the Pharisees for neglecting taking care of their parents on account of religious works. “Some Pharisees and teachers of religious law now arrived from Jerusalem to see Jesus. They asked him, “Why do your disciples disobey our age-old tradition? For they ignore our tradition of ceremonial hand washing before they eat.” Jesus replied, “And why do you, by your traditions, violate the direct commandments of God? For instance, God says, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and ‘Anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death.’ But you say it is all right for people to say to their parents, ‘Sorry, I can’t help you. For I have vowed to give to God what I would have given to you.’ In this way, you say they don’t need to honor their parents. And so you cancel the word of God for the sake of your own tradition. You hypocrites…” (Matthew 15:1-7). Disregarding one responsibility to fulfill another is not pleasing to God whether it is your family, job, or personal time to get refreshed! Leadership of any church should respect your life as a whole and not just what is important to their needs. They should teach fellow Believers to be well balanced in all spheres of life.

If you can no longer fulfill the requirements of the position you served in, then give church leadership the freedom to replace you with someone who can. However, if they are trying to pressure you to keep your responsibilities, even though God has clearly told you to spend more time with your family or do something else, then you need to tell them “No.” If they still won’t respect your decision, it might be time to move on. It will always work out best to obey God and follow His lead! (I am not talking about not submitting to authority here).

No matter who has stepped over your boundary lines, God wants you to forgive them and release them into His hands. This doesn’t mean you have to let down your boundaries, but it does mean you need to forgive them. Holding unforgiveness in your heart toward people that have wronged you will only hurt you in the long run. It will destroy you from experiencing God’s abundant life and keep you from stepping into your destiny. One of the greatest decisions I ever made was to forgive the pastor and the church that I attended for hurting me in my departure. I realize that all of us…me included…have hurt people and need mercy in our time of weakness! Sometimes it is intentional and at other times it is inadvertently. Regardless, we need to extend mercy to people. Chances are, we probably have done similar things and didn’t realize it at the time. I chose to extend mercy and opened a bridge of reconciliation that has brought healing towards our friendship.

The question is, Will you be bold enough to let God determine your boundaries in life and follow through in obedience or will you let others invade them? God is bigger than any obstacle and can open doors wide for your dreams to be fulfilled! Let Him lead you!