“Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.
Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.” (Ephesians 4:11-15 NLT)
As Christians, God loves it when we grow up spiritually and become everything He created us to be. This means becoming more and more like Jesus, replicating His character, love and actions in every area of our lives and in everything we do. This process is called sanctification, or being set apart as holy or for a sacred purpose.
Imagine with me for a moment if a toddler remained an infant his entire life. He would be completely dependent on someone else to care for him—to feed, clothe, bathe, potty, guide, and basically do everything for him. Not to mention, there would be no in-depth conversation or contribution toward society in any meaningful way. The child would simply be too immature and underdeveloped. But if the child grows from infancy to adulthood and learns the skills and cognitive ability to make wise decisions, that child can become a functioning, fruitful human being and be able to enrich humanity in profound ways.
Many years ago, I was at a church and happened to observe a four-year-old boy trying to get his mother’s attention after service. Because she wasn’t acknowledging him, he threw himself face down on the floor, kicking and screaming. It was a complete meltdown. Moments later, he abruptly stopped his crying and flailing and turned his head to see if his mother was watching. His one goal was to get her undivided attention. Because she didn’t come to his aid, he went back to fake crying. He could have won an Oscar for that performance. There was no patience on his part, no thoughtfulness of other people, no rational reasoning. It was all about him. Honestly, it was quite humorous and cute at the time, and everyone understood he was a little boy. Kids throwing fits is part of their early development and stages of learning to function appropriately when they don’t get what they want. It’s called growing up and maturing.
In saying that, it’s not cute or funny if a 40-year-old man has a man-child meltdown and acts like a toddler. This type of immaturity can be very destructive, not only to the one having the tirade but also for those around him. In the same way, God wants us to grow up spiritually instead of remaining infants in the faith our entire Christian lives. Staying in a state of underdevelopment in our spiritual journey means we won’t reach our full potential in God, nor can God use us to make a difference in the way He eagerly desires to. Why, you might ask? Because the Lord can’t entrust certain levels of responsibility to us if we won’t grow up spiritually.
So, how can we recognize godliness from spiritual immaturity in our own lives, and how can we take steps to grow in our faith?
Apostle Paul writes in Romans 12:1 NIV,
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Our minds need to be renewed if we are going to discern the difference between godly thoughts and actions and those of our fleshly nature or the devil. God has given us His Word, the Bible, to help us understand His heart, His ways and the things He values so that we can become more like Him and fulfill our God-given purpose.
The Bible teaches us in 2 Timothy 3:16-17 AMP,
“All Scripture is God-breathed [given by divine inspiration] and is profitable for instruction, for conviction [of sin], for correction [of error and restoration to obedience], for training in righteousness [learning to live in conformity to God’s will, both publicly and privately—behaving honorably with personal integrity and moral courage]; so that the man of God may be complete and proficient, outfitted and thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
God’s Word is rought with power to help instruct, convict of sin, correct, bring restoration and train us to walk in righteousness. If you want to mature in your faith and live a victorious, God-honoring life, make reading and meditating on God’s word a vital practice and top priority.
With that said, we can see from one passage of God’s Word behaviors that dishonor the Lord in Ephesians 5:19-21 AMP.
“Now the practices of the sinful nature are clearly evident: they are sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality (total irresponsibility, lack of self-control), idolatry, sorcery, hostility, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions [that promote heresies], envy, drunkenness, riotous behavior, and other things like these. I warn you beforehand, just as I did previously, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
When we resist the urges of our fleshly nature and the lies of the devil, choosing instead to submit to God’s ways, we grow spiritually. Every day is an opportunity to mature in conformity to Christ’s likeness. And we do this by cooperating with the Holy Spirit through His convictions and promptings.
Will we do it perfectly? Of course not. That’s why we need God’s grace to help us get back up when we fall short. His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23), and there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)! So when you fall short, take responsibility for your sin and don’t make excuses for it. Confess each one to God and turn away from anything that dishonors Him. That’s called repentance. Then receive His mercy, get back up and rely on the Lord’s help to keep growing.
Spiritual growth is not a guarantee – we must cooperate with God to change
Now, is spiritual growth a guarantee? No. We can actually stay stuck, remaining spiritually stagnant and never fully developing into the fullness of who Christ created us to be. The author of Hebrews gave a loving rebuke to a group of believers for their lack of spiritual growth. He said to them,
“You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong.” (Hebrews 5:12-14 NLT)
The author lovingly told them the truth that they were immature in their faith and were not as far along spiritually as they should have been. One telltale sign was that they could not discern right from wrong. The moral line between them as followers of Christ and the world became blurred. Simply put, people couldn’t tell the difference between them and the way non-believers acted. They were still babies in the faith. And not for a lack of time. At this point, they should have been mature enough to help lead others into a growing relationship with Jesus.
I have a friend who is a professional limo driver, and he was taking a group of Christian businessmen home from a sporting event. The only thing these men could talk about while in the car was how they would have liked to take advantage of a beautiful young woman they had been interacting with at the event. My buddy was appalled at what he heard coming from their mouths. He even commented, “They said they were Christians but talked like the world. I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference!” That shouldn’t be the case amongst believers. There should be a stark difference in how we conduct our lives as Christians. God wants us to be holy and reflect His nature by respecting others, not degrading or lusting after them.
Returning to the passage in Hebrews, although these early Christians had been followers of Jesus for a long time, they were still babies in understanding God’s ways. Sadly, the same truth applies to us today. We can actually be believers for a very long time, but still have no depth of character or moral compass. Just like back in the early Church, some who call themselves followers of Christ today live lifestyles that do not reflect God’s nature or example found in Scripture. They are immature in their faith at best and are not able to discern right from wrong, much like the guys my friend was driving home. Their speech was anything but godly or wholesome.
I ask this question respectfully: Is this you? Is it hard for someone to tell the difference between your life and that of a non-believer?
If so, I believe the Lord wants me to say with gentleness and humility that it’s time to grow up. It’s time to face these carnal areas in your life, the ones where God has been dealing with you. Don’t sweep them under the rug or avoid them any longer. Will it be uncomfortable? Yes. Will it be stretching? Yes. But the person you become on the other side of this transformation process is someone God can use to help and build others up. Which means your family, co-workers and neighbors will all benefit from you becoming the person God created you to be!
And the good news is, you are not on your own to make these changes. God walks with us and gives you and me the power and will to change. Apostle Peter wrote in 2 Peter 1:3 AMP,
“For His divine power has bestowed on us [absolutely] everything necessary for [a dynamic spiritual] life and godliness, through true and personal knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.”
Did you catch that? God has bestowed on His children the power to live the Christian life. Which means we have been given the strength to overcome our fleshly nature or carnal impulses that don’t align with God’s nature and the lies that say we can’t overcome! So let’s no longer make excuses for our bad behavior, stating things like, I’ve always been this way. Or I can’t overcome this sin; it’s too strong. Challenge those mindsets or excuses with truth from the Word of God. Christ has given you everything you need to live a godly life. Tap into His strength. It’s available to you!
Growing in Christlikeness
So, what are some key ways we can grow to be more Christlike?
1) Let our language and communication reflect God’s nature, not the world’s.
How we talk and communicate with others matters to God. Apostle Paul shares with the Ephesian Church in Ephesians 4:29 AMP,“Do not let unwholesome [foul, profane, worthless, vulgar] words ever come out of your mouth, but only such speech as is good for building up others, according to the need and the occasion, so that it will be a blessing to those who hear [you speak].”When we use crude, indecent language, we are living below who Christ called us to be. For years, I would use words to tear others down, joking harshly and making fun of people. But when Christ became my greatest aim, He started convicting me of my word choices in conversations with others or how I spoke to them. God wants our language to be uplifting and encouraging, not destructive. Today, my speech has changed dramatically. I’m encouraging people the majority of the time, and if for some rare moment I start saying something negative to someone, I feel the conviction of God straight away. What is that? It’s maturing in Christ.In the last year, the Lord has even started convicting me of certain facial expressions and my body language when interacting with others. We can say all the right things, but our body language communicates something entirely different. We can say with our posture and demeanor that we are simply not open to dialoging or working out a solution to a problem because a person has hurt us. This is not Christlike. God wants every part of our communication to be life-giving, respectful and open to dialogue. We are to be conduits that Christ can use to encourage, strengthen and lift others up who are down. This doesn’t mean we have to agree with everything someone says or all of the behavior choices. We can have our own opinions and perspectives. Still, when we communicate our point of view, we should do it in such a way that shows respect for the person we are communicating with. And we should do it with gentleness and kindness.
Could your language and facial expressions come up higher to reflect Jesus’ nature?
2) Be patient with others because God has been patient with you
The word patience means – the ability to wait calmly and endure delays, difficulties, or annoyances without becoming agitated or frustrated. This ability seems easy in theory, but can be quite difficult to live out, especially with those closest to us. Yet, despite it being challenging, God wants us, with His help, to develop patience in our lives as Christians.The Bible says in Ephesians 4:2 NLT,“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”And again in 1 Corinthians 13:4a NLT,
“love is patient and kind…”
Regarding patience, I have noticed that it’s easier to be patient with people I don’t know than with those closest to me. The more familiar I am with them, the easier it is for me to set unrealistic expectations of how they should act or respond in any given situation and the less tolerant I am of their irritants or annoyances.
Eventually, God had had enough of this behavior in my life. It was time to grow! Like a loving Heavenly Father, God started zeroing in on this character flaw. With the help of the Holy Spirit and a good friend who spoke the truth in love, I discovered I was getting irritated or annoyed when those closest to me asked too many questions I felt like they should have intuitively known the answers to. Obviously, this was unbecoming for a follower of Christ. I am grateful God exposed this area to me because it is helping me become a better person and have healthier relationships. Praise God!
I haven’t arrived yet, but I am committed to cooperating with the Holy Spirit to keep growing in this area. Now, when I feel the sense of frustration rising up on the inside, I make a determined effort to tell myself, Cory, your feelings don’t get to vote today. You need to come under the authority of Christ and submit to His lordship. I choose to yield to the Holy Spirit’s power and exhibit patience over frustration. I’m going to choose kindness over irritation, regardless of how I feel. And you can do the same. Imagine how much more peace each of our worlds would experience if we exhibited more patience in our daily lives, like during rush hour traffic, standing in long lines at a grocery store, when talking with a customer service representative on the phone or dealing with your spouse or kids.
I pray God will continue to help you, like He has me and continues to, grow in patience with others over time.
3) Exhibit self-control
One of the fruits of the Spirit (characteristics of God) is self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). It is the supernatural ability given by the Holy Spirit to help Christians manage their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, make wise choices, and resist temptation. In other words, self-control allows us to be led by the Spirit instead of being reactive to any given situation. The Bible describes it like this:“Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God.” (Romans 8:12-14 NLT)Did you catch that? We are under no obligation to do what our sinful nature urges us to do. Self-control is a spiritual muscle that we can and must exercise. The more we resist temptation or our fleshly inclinations, whether that’s dealing with lust, the yearning to overeat, talking back, focusing only on oneself, etc., the more we are actually starving those impulses and growing spiritually.Self-control is one of the greatest characteristics to develop as a Christian. It will help us step into our purpose and avoid costly pitfalls. We see from the news almost daily where someone said something that ruined their career, or indulged in sexual sin that caused their ministry or career to come toppling down or worse yet, spend lots of time behind bars.
My prayer is that you will ask the Lord to help you cultivate self-control in your life and heed the truths from Proverbs 25:28 AMP:
“Like a city that is broken down and without walls [leaving it unprotected] Is a man who has no self-control over his spirit [and sets himself up for trouble].”
This means that without self-control, we are vulnerable emotionally, morally, and spiritually—just like a city without defenses. God has given us the ability to discern right from wrong and endowed us with the power to choose what is right and pleasing to God. So, let’s make a determined effort to grow in self-control.
4) Develop a servant’s heart
The most powerful and influential person to ever walk the earth and most deserving of being served was Jesus Christ, the Son of God, Creator of the Universe. Yet, He didn’t come to be served; He came to serve others and lay His life down for many.Jesus said of Himself in Mark 10:45 NLT,“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”In humility, He gave up His divine rights and took the form of a servant. Apostle Paul writes in Philippians 2:6-7 NIV,
“Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.”
Jesus also said in Mark 10:43-44 NIV,
“Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.”
Jesus modeled how He wants His followers to act and bring honor to God. We are to look out for the interests of others and not just our own. So here are some ways we can practically walk out servanthood in our lives:
- Meeting the Practical Needs of Others
- Provide meals for someone going through a hard time.
- Offer a ride to church or the doctor.
- Help with yard work, childcare, or errands for those who are overwhelmed.
- Serve in Your Local Church
- Volunteer for ministries like hospitality, children’s ministry, media, or worship.
- Join the prayer team or small group leadership.
- Be Present for the Hurting
- Listen without judgment.
- Sit with someone grieving or struggling.
- Send a note or make a phone call to encourage them.
- Speak Words of Life
- Encourage others daily with your words
- Affirm their value in Christ.
- Share Scripture or pray over them.
- Intercede in Prayer for others
- Give Generously
- Support someone financially in a time of need.
- Donate to ministries, missions, or causes aligned with God’s heart.
- Serve the Marginalized
- Support anti-trafficking work, help the homeless, visit prisons, or engage in foster care.
- Advocate for justice and mercy.
In the end, I pray that God finishes the great work He began in you so that you grow into full maturity in Christ and become the mighty oak of righteousness you were created to be. The most meaningful and rewarding life possible is one committed to this transformation process and sanctification journey with our Savior.
I also pray that God gives you holy boldness and courage to face the parts of you that need healing and full submission under Christ’s lordship. God’s Word will expose and challenge any excuse or faulty thinking that would keep you stuck.
It’s time to grow up in the faith. And with God’s help, you can do it!